Back from all the water stuff. To add something.

To vanehssa:

The potential zygote somewhere in malaysia when you were born is turning fourteen in 3 hours and 42 minutes time.

Yours,
Potential zygote down with bear syndrome.

Good morrow sirs and ma'ams. I am spending my last hours at home.

I mean, last four hours as a thirteen year old. Yes. What if I wake up tomorrow and find myself forty instead of fourteen? I mean, I will faint. Corrections, my mum will faint first. I find myself incoherent. What!? Why? Because I am thinking about something that doesn't happen. Oh great, which goes back to the point that i am crazy. Yikes.

Lets play a what-if game.

What if I find myself eating papayas?
OH man. I will cry.

What if I fall down a cliff?
I will pinch myself.

What if I got a zero for something?
I will draw a smiley face inside the stupid number.

What if I have an IQ of 200?
I will make sure I won't find myself eating papayas unconsciously, or fall down a cliff, or get any zeros.

I make sense. Don't I? Okay lets not abuse each others brains and stop playing the stupid game.

What about? What should I post about. Lets experiment with something.

psoitng my chlihodod mermioes?

ooh. Okay I get it. Fine. poof. I finished reading Midnight Sun's draft, oh well. Part of it. Since that's the only part uploading. Very enjoyable and from Edward Cullen's point of view. Very much interesting hmm. Should I go and bathe now?

No, I shall bathe when it's 8.30pm. But I want to watch tv, or, dvd to be exact. Whatever, I shall go and bathe now. BYE hmph.

So it's over. Actually I am happy, although the play wasn't perfect but we enjoyed ourselves, which is the point of the whole thing. And apparently, knowing that our play was quite good ( from people) makes my mood even greater. HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE okay I feel crazy. Maybe I am. But yes, I am a crazy happy girl. Oops am I too old for a girl? And oops again that looks wrong, so wrong.

One more thing to prove me crazy. I had this dream recently: I was walking around, then it sort of revolved into me watching a show, you know, on tv. There's this man (a hk actor I knew, but I can't remember who) wearing a hat, and apparently he commited some oh-so-serious mistake he has to be tortured. Therefore, there's ....snakes in the hat and I saw them crawling out on his face. Then he was standing in this big pot full of poisonous beings, like spiders, poisonous frogs, snakes and so on. AND suddenly the pot appeared in my house, not like it jumped out of the tv, but the scene sort of changed. When I was staring at the pot a frog jumped out, I ran after it, trying to hit it with a BAMBOO POLE which was unsuccessful. And our magical Amanda!(monitor)appeared! And ran towards it, and intended to squash it with her feet. I was horrorred and shouted at her, telling her that the frog is poisonous. Somehow I caught up and tried to see the frog but her feet was blocking my view and when she moved away, the stupid frog turned into 4 small fish. Why four? I don't know. But anyway, I was so happy I danced around it and decided that we should throw it away. Poured them into the sink and washed them down but they kept swimming up to breathe, which was quite creepy because they are growing larger. You want to know more?

Well, I woke up. Hahah! And I dreamt of all these because I was watching this documentary and there's this man who breeds crocodiles and loves them and trains them to attack and perform. And he uses the BAMBOO POLE. See the link. I guess I have great imagination.

And I suddenly remembered some funny things I did when I was young. Like how I stuffed my straw wrapper into my mum's bag although I know we shouldn't. And singing the first and last line af a song because that's all I can remember. And getting smacked by a basketball in the face at my cousin's house when I tried throwing it at the wall. I used to think that it will either stick or drop. And enjoy bathing because I get to use a pole(bamboo?) to poke the switch for the heater, and styling my hair so that it looks like helicopter. Using toothbrush to brush my hand. And many things. Haha many too embarrassing to mention. It's great pity we lost all our video tapes.

Genocide. Looks gross but solves problems. Which is good, when there's no other ways. But... Okay world is never fair.

Which reminds me of Jodi Picoult's My Sister's Keeper. I hate the mum, I understand that she loves Kate. But she's just plain selfish.I bet Anna's right, she didn't even bothered to hug her when she was born, only eyeing the precious umbilical cord and the blood. I was trying to find the page, but couldn't, where she said "But Anna's Kate's donor." Something like that. Which I felt like punching her. It's like nothing but that. At first it's the blood, which was why Anna even existed. Then she starts taking it for granted. Until it's kidney, where she still insist that Anna should donate her kidney. It would go on, may it be a heart she would still hope that anna would donate hers. She didn't even consider how KATE would feel. Like, slowly eating up your sister, literally. And how much more she has to suffer because you want her alive. Ohh. OHHHH. HMPH. I am angry. How she made everyone in her family suffer. Urgh. But, still she's trying to save her daughter, just that she made a mistake from the start. She shouldn't have created Anna, or clone, spare, whatever.I bet she's glad Anna's dead. It's better off. You all should read it, it's nice. I am rereading it, but still feels as much emotions. Great book ain't it. Jodi Picoult should give me advertisment fees though. HA. Jesse is cool though, I like him. Noble, in a way.

Shall go read the book, oh no math eating me. Dies, but alive again to let math eat me. Oh no.

Long time since I posted.

Sometimes I feel childish, for blaming the wrong things although I know they are not to blame. But after thinking about it from another angle, things really clear up and I will find the more optimistic side. I still insist, that something can be very different when it's from a different point of view, only when you see things from many point of views can you fully understand it.

I don't know how to face you. You might think that, by acting like nothing has happened will make us feel better, I don't know about you, but to me, it's like rubbing salt into my wound. The wound deep in my heart, that even I dare not touch it. Everytime I see you smile I feel like crying, when I hear your name I feel empty of it.

Sometimes, I think that real friends aren't for us to vent our emotions, maybe, when you really can't take it, you go to your friend for comfort, but you must know that everytime you've done that, you have caused a certain pressure to your friend. Everytime you are unhappy, she's unhappy too. Therefore I think, when people say 'tell your best friends everything, about how happy/unhappy you are' it only applies to those people with moderate feelings. Not that kind that is forever unsatisfied with the amount of happiness he/she's in. Because, what happens if your best friend is just a normal person with balanced emotions, but with you everyday moping around, he/she would have to bear with a greater amount of sadness/happiness(?!) than they need to. Therefore sometimes I really don't want to show my feelings, because it only hurts my friends. So what for?

I am being long-winded again. But I still want to say that, everytime you feel everything's going wrong, when you don't know how you could ever help yourself, you think, oh there must be something wrong with me. For example, being pessimistic. If you see things from a more positive view, you will find that, oh. Things can be changed and improved afterall.

But, it's easier to say than to do it.